Tales from the Mouse Bump. III

Well. Since Mouse Bump II was written, two more winters have passed. The winter following MBII was an excellent winter for snowboarding. In the previous summer of ’10, I even signed up for 8 weeks of adult lessons. The old Gray Hare was set to swoosh –board free or die! (now, in one’s 60s, that actually might be self fulfilling…hmm.)

In September and October of that year, I renovated the front of my house. And sprained my ankle. Badly. By January, taped and harnessed, I headed to the hill. Damned near killed myself. For an old fart like me, the bunny hills at the local (only) ski hill are way too crowded with a million little bastards who can actually do this, so I didn’t get very far. I even bought a lighter and smaller board, but alas, it was still too much for my ankle and the season was a bust. Not to mention nearly every damned weekend I went out it blizzarded, which in and of itself, is great for snow sports, but not so much for the white knuckle drives back and forth.

So, after another summer of ankle healing, followed by a kidney stone, then an ulcer, would you believe, no snow? Really? I actually might not live long enough to slide down the half pipe on my ass. Considering offers on an Advantage board with bindings, as new. Used only once by a little old man, who couldn’t keep it up. You’ll have to pry the Morrow Clutch from my cold wet hands, though, its such a lovely board. Maybe I’ll mount it in my living room as wall art and regale the young’uns of the time I used to have to snowboard back and forth up and down the mountain to school, both ways, when I was kid.

As I write this, sitting in shorts and a t-shirt, the outside temperature is 70 F. Its March 19, people! In Canada, fer chrissake. I only used the snowblower once (well, not really – it seized on start from lack of running all winter.) Maybe I can use the Morrow for surfing. Haven’t tried that yet. I can get an 8 foot surf off Lake Ontario on a good day. Might not be enough for a pipeline, but that’s ok, I wouldn’t survive it anyway.

See you at the bottom of the hill, or on the beach. I’ll be the one on the stretcher, under the sheet. Swoosh!